Who's Steering This Ship!?

"On this team, we're all united in a common goal: to keep my job."

-Lou Holtz

Let's talk about coaches.

Remember when Nick Saban parted the clouds and rode into Tuscaloosa on a white horse with the reunited Beatles (Jesus and Bear Bryant sitting in for John and George) in tow? He was the lovechild of Landry and Rockne with better hair, wasn't he folks? A tanned Patton in khaki slacks bought with a wheelbarrow full of gold bars. Everything for the Tide was going to be A-Ok.. (pause for effect).....

THEN something odd happened.

The Tide limped to a 6-6 record, losing 4 in a row to end the season including that 21-14 humbling to Louisiana-Monroe. When it was all said and done Bama had shelled out $8 million (Saban's first year + Shula's buyout) which essentially bought them an ugly win over Colorado (also 6-6) in the Indy Bowl.

7-6. One win better than the "embarrassing" season before. Money well spent.

Am I calling Saban a bust? Absolutely not. Will he make Bama a dangerous team again? Absolutely. This season? Quite possibly, in fact, they'll beat Clemson this weekend. Am I done posing rhetorical questions? Yes.

But this all underscores my point: Despite the C+ effort of last season, the Tide faithful are undeterred in their support of Saban, because he is- I'm loathe to admit- the right man for the job. Ticket sales are the highest ever, Bama has the best class of freshmen in the nation, and a brand new nationwide TV following, seemingly inherited from Notre Dame-- all because of Saban. That's the alchemy ADs and boosters have been trying to perfect for eons- the simple act of putting the right guy for the right program on the sidelines despite wins and losses. Those guys' most common trait is being able to post a few a crummy seasons in a row and somehow stay off the hotseat (see: Tiller, Joe).

Each season as the fabled coaching carousel turns, it seems quite clear there are some guys finding themselves in the perfect position to shake up the college football world and others that are simply doomed to fail.

We all know about Rich Rodriguez at Michigan and Bobby Petrino at Arkansas blah blah, but just for funsies, let me throw some ideas out there about some of the other best and worst coaching hires for 2008.

THE BEST:

June Jones, SMU

Jones has been running my favorite offense in football for the last few years, and as a result his Hawaii teams have been using the run-and-shoot to put up almost Xbox caliber stats. Last year the rest of the nation noticed. In his tenure at UH, he turned a perennial doormat into a consistent BCS question mark; his first year turnaround there: 9 wins (up from zero, the previous season) remains an NCAA record.

At Southern Methodist, his run-and-shoot inherits a very good receiving corps, and considering he's sitting in the Conference USA West, if Jones can locate a decent QB, he may throw for 4500 yards against the likes of Rice and UTEP.

That may not be a tall order, considering SMU is nestled in the middle of one the most fertile recruiting regions in the nation whose pocket is getting picked routinely by the Big 12. Fortunately though, there's so much talent to go around in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, that after the Longhorns, Aggies, Huskers, and Sooners have taken their share, a Mustang team with a few more Ws in it's pitch could and should easily secure a few hometown heroes.

The only hitch may be, Jones now finds himself in the perfect position to be poached by the Big 12 and SEC. Possibly sooner than later, SMU may find itself unable to keep him.

As a side note, the June Jones era also begins with the demise of those awful navy blue helmets and a return to the "Pony Express" era uniforms. Nice.

ALSO GOOD:

Rick Neuheisel, UCLA

Yes, he's an ass. Yes, he has tended to run shady programs in the past (in the case of Colorado, really shady programs). But, let's assume he's learned his lesson, and focus on the good. The man is flatly an offensive mastermind, and also, one of the best recruiters in the nation. His reputation as the latter is key, as UCLA is looking realistically for big results over the next few seasons if Neuheisel can effectively tap into southern California's incredible recruiting pool, and draw blue-chippers that are turned off by USC's scary depth. What's more, the Bruin fan base is its most energized since perhaps UCLA's golden era... back in the 50s.

THE WORST:

Bill Stewart, West Virginia

Maybe it's my grinchy heart talking, but this is going to be a disaster- not a big fiery disaster like the Irish last season, but more of a slow painful bleed, but we'll come back to this.

Cut to the end 2007 season, Rich Rodriguez has lead the Moutaineers to a Fiesta Bowl berth, then like a thief in the night jumped ship for the very lucrative climes of Ann Arbor. The Morgantown community is shattered! Those people need a hero! Who will lead these men against the dreaded Sooners? Who will come forth, O' Lord? Who?

Enter Bill Stewart.

Bill Stewart: Special teams coordinator.

Bill Stewart: Special teams coordinator and swell guy.

Now, with their interim coach in place the Moutaineers go on to play an incredible game against the Sooners, rolling up a 48-28 win that was actually more lopsided than that. Stewart is carried off the field by his team and given a ringing endorsement to become the permanent head coach by superstar Heisman Candidate, Pat White on national television, which is met with roars of approval from the team and fans.

Who is WVU to mess with destiny, right? Stewart was indeed named head coach of the West Virginia Mountaineers, thus completing the improbable rise of a swell guy... and that's where the movie should probably end. BUT, he has a team to lead now- full time, and what do we know about Coach Stewart? Here's where WVU fans should say "uh oh".

Over the course of 15 years, Stewart bounced around as an assistant with 6 (count 'em, 6) terrible programs, before landing his first, and only head coaching job going 9-25 at a I-AA program in the mid-90s. Afterwards, he spent a few inglorious years as a coordinator in the CFL before coming to WVU in 2000 where he's served as a position coach since.

This is not the resume of a BCS head coach.

Now then, back to the slow death.

The good news is he still has Pat White, and freak-of-nature-fast tailback Noel Devine behind a returning offensive line.

The bad news is he has virtually no depth at any offensive position, no receivers to speak of, and a young, inexperienced defense.

Add those concerns to the high expectations of a preseason top 10 ranking, and a tougher schedule (Auburn, Colorado) and you have reason to worry.

The team's successes of late can largely be attributed to a fluke of recruiting, the prospect base is slim in that region, and WVU is grossly underfunded with bad facilities, and the overall decline of the Big East (btw don't look for the same kind of fireworks from UConn and South Florida this year). So in the coming years, as Coach Stewart's existing talent pool graduates, he'd better hope he's as good as the Mountaineer nation thinks he is.

ALSO BAD:

David Cutcliffe, Duke

Let me get this straight: Despite some good seasons, Cutcliffe couldn't ever quite "flip the switch" at Ole Miss, a well-financed, storied program at a flagship state school in the heart of the SEC, and now he's supposed to go to Duke

and win games. Got it.

Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking. Ole Miss did have some pretty great offensive numbers during his five seasons, including school records for total yards and points scored, but his defenses were mediocre at best.

Also don't forget, for three of those seasons there was a Manning taking snaps back there, and for two, he had Deuce McAllister (Without Eli, Cutcliffe was barely over .500).

Take those "pretty good" credentials to Duke, a program with no talent and no hope of getting any (tiny school, no recruiting base, very high academic standards), and add the fact Cutcliffe was widely regarded as one of the worst recruiters in the conference, the future for the Blue Devils doesn't look good.

So, that's it for this week. I just want to thank Adam for bringing me onto the site, and I'm looking forward to a great season. Hope you all enjoy reading.

I'm G.D. Kimble and I like parentheticals (like this one).